Feeding Compassion

Do I identify with what I see as my defects, or do I identify with my innate sacred, spiritual nature, and my connection with others?

If I identify with my addiction or defects, I will stay in a negative state of mind about myself and may feel sorry for myself, the “noble victim.”

It takes courage to lay down the poor me identity, or the look at me, I am the king or queen! and begin to just simply and fully engage in life.  

The common theme underlying all these works is that self-compassion is the antidote to self-hate or self. So how do you create more compassion for yourself? Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you care about. What would you say to good friend who was going through the same thing you are going through?

Recognize that beliefs do not equal truths: Often, people believe what they tell themselves. If you think you are a loser, you may believe it is an absolute truth. It is not uncommon to unconsciously surround ourselves with people who reinforce our poor self-image, and to feel uncomfortable around more positive, healthy people.

Self-love doesn’t happen by luck or hoping for it, we have to actualize it. Our self-love and acceptance is innate, already within us. These are among the most important elements of it: Honoring ourselves and who we really are; understanding we’re are not destined to be victims; knowing we have the power to choose, and that this power is both the greatest opportunity we have and the greatest responsibility.

Identify the roots of your suffering and embrace them with mindfulness. Your suffering, sorrow and depression all need food to exist. Something is feeding them. They are constructs of your mind and YOU are feeding them. When you cut off the source of food for your sorrows, the flowers of compassion and understanding grow out of the compost of those sufferings. Address your sufferings and know they can diminish and that you can choose to take a different view of yourself and the world…a view that dismisses the negativity when it arises, and embraces the lightness and kindness that you possess innately. That is living authentically.

The only things I truly possess are my actions. The only things that will create a difference in the future are my actions. Worldly things come and go, but my actions reverberate for generations and eons. Energy is neither created nor destroyed, but may be changed. My actions are an energy that I have a responsibility for, and I need to act with consideration, not in self-serving ways. 

Become mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and       

want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge. When we feel ourselves being lead around by our emotions, we need to become mindful, to ask “what is going on?” We can then have a healthy distance, a space from our emotions or thoughts, see what our experience is and choose what road to take. It is only an experience we are having that we are either being led into blindly, or are choosing to enter into. When we haver a better awareness of our thoughts and emotions, we will then choose our actions more carefully.

Forgive yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. Practice being less demanding on yourself, unless you are being a real slug.

It’s true that we can only love a person as much as we love ourselves. If we do not love and care for ourselves, we may keep trying to bring people into our lives to complete us, which will not happen, we’ll only start keeping bad company. In loving and respecting ourselves, we will start attracting people and circumstances that support our well-being, and we in turn, support them.

Throughout our life, we produce energy. Every thought, word and action carries our signature. What we produce continues to influence the world. That is our “continuation body.” It’s like the light from a star that goes on far after the star is no more. When we produce a thought of hatred, anger or despair, it harms us and the world. When we’re able to produce thoughts and acts of compassion and understanding, it’s healing and nourishing for ourselves and the world. Are we producing an acid rain or are we being the sun that supports all life? We have to train ourselves to produce right thinking. Positive thoughts have the power to transform the negativities of yesterday, and guarantee a more beautiful tomorrow. Every compassionate thought bears our signature and is our undying continuation. Paraphrased from Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Living

When you find yourself engaged in negativity, use the breath, which is a celebration of life the you have been given, to center yourself. Breathe 3 times deeply, and use this action to drop your fight, and replace it with a sense of peace and appreciation of being alive and taking the “breath step.” Choose to engage life and the many blessings you have, and wish to offer to others. Feel yourself relax, and be a bit amused at the small troubles you were making into a such a BIG deal.

If one has a sense of humor about oneself, it is much easier to love oneself properly. It’s also much easier to love everybody else. And we feel lighter and smile more. We are here to help others. Get well, so you can do your job.

So, it is action, not speculation; it is practice, not theory that matters. Intention, if it is not        followed by corresponding action, only brings self-loathing because we KNOW what to do and yet we don’t do it. We must be gentle but deliberate in our actions.

If one cannot find happiness in himself, he cannot find happiness anywhere else. It is also said that people who cannot control themselves cannot find happiness. We should not expect, need other people to treat us kindly first; we should start by treating them kindly, from a sense of loving kindness, without needing anything in return. Sometimes kindness is saying no or making a compromise. Kindness is always non-judgmental and compassionate.

“You can search the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than yourself. This person is not to be found anywhere.” Buddha

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for
May you be well. May you be happy. May you find peace.

Heart Of Recovery web site  — fcheartofrecovery.com