10-30-22 The Space To Be

The Space to Be

It is completely necessary to Be an ordinary human being; to have our emotions, our feelings; to be stupid, lustful, kind, lazy, energized, fearful, compassionate, and angry. We need to Be and acknowledge exactly who we are.

If we try to Be someone who does not have some of the qualities we don’t want in ourselves, we will only Be someone who is trying to Be someone else. And we won’t know who we are.
Surrender to who you are. All of you, just as you are. This doesn’t mean we should surrender to thinking and acting in ways that are dictated by our old behaviors of fear, avoidance or neediness. 

Rather, we can allow everything in our present-moment experience of the body and mind to Be, just as it is. We can allow but not engage in thoughts as they occur. We can have an awareness brought into being by engaging Space. We can recognize, be aware, of when we’re feeling angry towards someone, ourselves included, and Choose to respond kindly and honestly. It takes practice to NOT respond automatically from old behaviors, and create space between our sensing something, and our response. 

We can begin considering our responses with space first, not with more thoughts.

“We live in a culture that values sharing every thought and feeling as it occurs. As a result, we often don’t pause to reflect on what we have just said. This lack of reflection can lead to a superficial connection with ourselves.  In contrast, by paying attention to the silence within our conversation and embracing those spaces, we can connect more deeply with ourselves. This deeper connection is the basis of an authentically engaged and self-actualized life.” Psychology Today

Pay attention to how often you feel fear about a situation and allow the fear to dictate your reaction. Do you react with aggression?  Do you withdraw? In such a situation, there is no sense of worthiness or courage, only fear ruling and demeaning you. When you do feel the fear, embrace it lovingly as an old friend that you know does not give good advice. BREATHE some space into the fear and move through it with the courage of your self-worth and the knowledge you are growing and evolving into a confident being. Replace the sense of fear with a pause, a breath, and YES I CAN. Actually say, “YES I CAN.” 

When you get knotted up, try relaxing your shoulders. Breathe, and let your mind clear. Just Be.

Our spiritual walk begins when we acknowledge that we are indulging in a behavior that is extremely harmful and sometimes deadly to ourselves and others. We are bound to it, addicted, enslaved. Being consumed by a behavior and/or a substance creates a narrow mind, needy and afraid of everything. As we begin to be able to distance ourselves somewhat, to find some space from our affliction, we begin to open our minds. We begin to open up to the world, to feel better about ourselves, and about engaging in a path that is difficult at times but rewarding and healthy. We feel some space where there was once only darkness, fear and hardness. We can then continue to not so much to identify with our recovery, but to simply begin being present. With being flawed, wonderful, struggling, strong humans who believe in ourselves, and who get up every time we fall down. And we learn to laugh, too. What a blessing!!!

In meditation, we are training our mind to not thoughtlessly engage in whatever happens to come. We are training to notice if the mind wanders, and return to the breath as an anchor, to simply be as we are, again and again. Whatever arises in the meditation session, and in all of life, can be embraced with gentleness. A present awareness infused with honesty, kindness, and precise simplicity. We do not have to be afraid of who we are. Our basic human nature is already awake and good. We need to BE that more often. When we are Being, we are not caught in the past or the future. Being is Presence, in the Now.  Being is seeing, hearing, and feeling very strongly, clearly and kindly. 

When we are fully present, we’re not caught up in anger, fear or avoidance. We intuitively know the better way to view something or respond to it. We may feel as though we’re becoming vulnerable—losing our protective armor. We will be losing that armor, and opening and gaining a fuller and richer life. We may be afraid of being taken advantage of if we let down our guard.  But when we combine clear-seeing and kindness, we become stronger and we find the safe space to go deeper into the practice of thinking, speaking, and acting with loving kindness and self-worth in every moment. We begin to transform subtle forms of defensiveness, blame, and closed heartedness. In this way we can begin believing in ourselves and living an authentic life.

Challenges will arise in our meditation and in everyday life—physical or emotional discomforts—but all of these can be regarded as reminders to bring an attitude of spacious inquisitiveness and gentleness to our experience. This attitude of being gentle is the gateway to bravery. 

This is well beyond feeling that when we get (or get rid of) this or that, THEN we will be happy. Loving from the heart, just Being, shows us the way to not be selfish or needy; it touches on an innate sense of wholesomeness that can guide us to who we truly are and how we can live in this sometimes crazy world with compassion, humor, and self-worth.

If I do not be-lieve in myself, in my innate goodness, I’ll be trying to fill the hole of my doubt with many temporary satisfactions that only bring more difficulty. I’ll beat myself up over the past, be afraid of the future and treat myself poorly. I do not have to do this!!! I can begin not believing my negative self and start just Being.

“One cultivates spaciousness and awareness, which allows you to acknowledge the emotions and see them as part of the human condition. Emotions are like subtle thought forms and they all arise in response to something outside yourself. They are all reactions. You cultivate a quietness in yourself that watches these emotions rising and falling and passing away.” Ram Dass

To know I am nothing, no-thing, is to be spacious. It is to be able to access everything. If I am something, then I have identified who I am, how I need to act, what I need to get, not get, what I am afraid of, all of my limitations. I become solid and full…nothing more can get in. When I stop identifying with anything, the space where truth, joy, and wisdom are is part of who I am Being.

“The Wise Man believes profoundly in silence — the sign of a perfect equilibrium. Silence is the absolute poise or balance of body, mind and spirit. If you ask him: ‘What is silence?’ He will answer: ‘It is the Great Mystery! The holy silence is His voice!’ If you ask: ‘What are the fruits of silence?’ He will say: ‘They are self-control, true courage or endurance, patience, dignity and reverence.’ Silence is the cornerstone of character.” Ohiyesa, Wahpeton Santee Sioux

HOW and WHY we do something is more important than WHAT we do.
Considering HOW and WHY will informs us and define what we do and who we are.
“Whisper words of wisdom; let it be, let it be.”

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for
May you be well. May you be happy. May you find peace.

Heart Of Recovery web site  — fcheartofrecovery.com