To Be Honest

The First Agreement from The Four Agreementsby Don Miguel Ruiz is “Be impeccable [above reproach, honest] with your word.”  This agreement is the most important one, and the most difficult to honor. Your word has the power to create or to destroy.  It can set you free or enslave you.  It can enslave others or free them.

You may believe you are less than others, damaged goods, or better than others. And you keep telling yourself that lie. Your image of yourself will express itself through your words, which shows your intention. You may not mean to demean yourself or promote yourself, but you will if that is what you believe about yourself, and that is what others will hear from your words and actions. That is the world you create—a false one. You are not being truthful.

The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. The seeds are ideas, opinions, and concepts. If your mind is prepared for negative or superior seeds, that is what will grow. If you believe something, that is a truth for YOU, but not necessarily real and TRUE.  Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin. When you are impeccable you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.

Use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. This will clean all the emotional poison within you. We have learned to lie to others and to ourselves. To create differences and promote ourselves or hide ourselves. Look very closely at what you believe.  From what you tell yourself to what you believe from others. Nurture the seed of kindness and love. This will dispel all the wrong ideas we have been taught and believe.  Paraphrased from Don Miguel Ruiz

While consumed by our addiction, lying came easily; lying seemed to be the right thing, the only thing to do. We needed to be able to indulge in our addiction above any other consideration. As we make progress on the path of recovery, we find that merely not indulging in our addiction does not bring a sense of serenity or peace. We come to realize that a spiritual essence, a clear, natural state of being, is available to us, and is an essential and necessary ingredient in order to begin living in a healthy manner that embraces a respect for our own lives and the lives of all others. If we are respecting our lives, and making an effort to live with good values, and respecting the lives of others, we endeavor to tell the truth. It starts to come naturally and we begin to realize a sense of simple dignity and confidence in our lives, which replaces our confusion and uneasiness. I can truly feel my life energy, the sunlight of the spirit. It is simple and true.  

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”  — e. e. cummings.

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment

Three aspects of telling the truth that are essential to consider.
(1) Is it true?  (2) Is it necessary?  (3) Is it kind?

“We must be entirely honest with somebody [with everybody], if we expect to live long or happily in this world.”  Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 73. 

A problem arises only when you try to manipulate a situation to your advantage or ignore it      
 — Chogyam Trungpa

To practice rigorous self-honesty, we need to face our feelings and get extraordinarily honest with ourselves. Am I lying to myself? What is my motive? The Twelve-Step Buddhist

“A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent.” — William Blake
Omission of the truth is no different than lying.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Meditation: To connect with the inherent qualities of the mind, Stability, Clarity, and Strength. This connection naturally points us to truth. 

Start small; don’t exaggerate even a little bit to make it sound better. (Ego)

When you do lie, even a little bit, amend it as soon as possible.

Before speaking it is important to, pause, breathe, then gently come from your true self, a place of kindness, before speaking. Feel if you are trying to get something, or avoid something. 

With a continued effort to see and relate to the truth, everything begins to shine with a clarity and depth that has not been there before. Let your breath of honesty bathe you and others in light. 

Others may or may not make the effort to speak honestly, but when you are coming from a place of openness and vulnerability, you will be able to feel what is true and what is not.

“Love truth, but pardon error.” (From others and yourself.) — Voltaire

To make the effort to be truthful is essential. However, make an equal effort to be kind, first and mainly to yourself. When you can be kind to yourself, believe in yourself, you can finally know who your are, and accept all of yourself without reservation. A new clarity and desire to engage in the world will appear where there was only fear before.  

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for

May you be well. May you be happy. May you find peace.

Heart Of Recovery web site  — fcheartofrecovery.com