5-3-20 With Peace

With Peace

In my addiction I had no discipline in regard to my spiritual, physical or emotional well being, nor the well being of others. However, I could have an amazing obsession in pursuing my destructive addiction. In an addiction I had little choice, I was overcome with confusion and fear.

Today I learn and grow in maintaining a watchful, and caring eye on my thoughts and behaviors. When I come from aggression, fear or avoidance, I may feel a small victory in   getting what I want by denying someone else their worth and dignity, or avoiding a situation. I am promoting negativity and isolation in myself.
I can now begin to feel a connection with my peace and with others, and do not wish to hurt, or bring suffering to them, any more than I wish to hurt myself.

When I come from Peace, I must have a discipline to not react. But to consider and act wisely from my heart. This may feel like I have not gotten what I wanted, (immediate gratification), but I will feel a sense of rightness in my actions.

Over time, as we continue to touch into our Peacefulness, we realize our feelings and thoughts are transitory, impermanent. Peace is calm, gentle, always available, and strong. I will feel a sense of dignity, and worthiness within myself, and know that how I treat others has great importance. I am learning to respect myself enough to have the courage to do the right thing. Drop the judgements! Peace begins to seep in.

Recovery – is to restore, to regain. Not the need to find anything new or different. I have  never lost my spiritual self, I am only sometimes in a place where I am unable to see or feel it. It is still there! And I can touch into it if I am willing to be with Peace, instead of in my habitual graspings and fears. That peace is always with me.

Sometimes I feel very spiritually connected, I can be considerate and patient, I feel a definite connection to others, and a desire to engage in the world. Sometimes I feel agitated and resentful because things are NOT going the way I want them to. Other times I just sort of mindlessly float through life. And that is OK. I keep working on the more peaceful, accepting me that is already there.

When I have the courage to not act impulsively, I may miss the intensity of an old harmful behavior that I enjoyed rolling around in. Both fear and aggression can have a real substance, or presence we identify with, which make us feel all juiced up. We may miss that intensity, or the need to hide, and that is a good thing. Kind of a withdrawal from our harmful behaviors. We are training our minds to touch into our sense of peace, instead of our small protective re-actions that only promote confusion and a disconnect.

I need to get over being RIGHT and trying to fix anyone. I don’t fix myself, I open up, I relax, accept, and feel the next right action. I constantly touch into the innate peace and intelligence that is within me. Soon that Peace will begin being who I am.

When I do come from peace and kindness, I will hurt when it hurts, and laugh when it is joyful, and find a very full life, with everything that happens.

Also I will find the strength to speak up, kindly, when I need to, instead of being afraid to speak up because I may get a negative reaction from someone. My sense of peace will never be felt when I am being a coward by not speaking up. Or if I forcefully speak up, selfishly with aggression to get what I want, there is no peace available, only harm.
Peace comes through speaking the truth kindly, when needed. Do not let having an interaction with someone that is difficult, sway you from acting from your heart.
You determine who you are, what your worth is, not anyone else.

When you feel tension, take a breath and calm yourself. Take 3 breaths and touch into your kindness and let peace guide you. Meditation is where we begin training to use the breath to calm and open our minds and hearts. We find that our awareness of being uptight, fearful or aggressive becomes a message that tells us we can CHOOSE to breathe, relax and give the situation some space. To not react with old behaviors. It takes practice to remember to take a breath and center yourself. Work on it many times every day.

Practice being with PEACE, when you walk, when you are talking or listening, and when you are alone. Yes, when you are alone, and your head is swirling around with the same old fear, resentments and doubt, use the breath to calm yourself and feel more peaceful.

You cannot have and hold your peace like a hostage, it is the wind that you share with everyone. In whatever way you can, in a 12-step program, in your church or synagogue or spiritual center, in everyday life, always be involved in the effort to help others. No matter how much you attain, your peace will only be as available to you, as your
willingness to help others is.

You are your best teacher, pay attention.

Can you have the discipline to practice a spiritual life, to bring peace, the best you can, everyday? Can you be gentle and strong enough to not hold grudges? To look for what is good, not wrong? If you are not promoting peace — why not? Today you have a choice.

The results are a long lasting sense of contentment and peace that enhances your life and the world.  Through a gentle but firm discipline, comes the joy of life.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.”             

Heart Of Recovery web site  —  fcheartofrecovery.com