12-22-19 Act


Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Desiderata

It does take courage and practice, over and over again, to go beyond our old behavior of blaming others and ourselves, and engage in the practice caring for others and ourselves. 

Love yourself and others with no difference, let the kindness and compassion be forefront in your minds, before selfish ways, and you will do the right thing.

With Awareness of what I am doing, how I am re-acting, I can choose to act in a positive manner. The energies I am choosing to embody and engage in are the energies that I will be putting forth to the world. If I put forth negative or needy energies I will affect others in a negative or needy manner and be attracted to the same energies. If I put forth positive, gentle, life-affirming energies I will bring that energy to the world and attract and be attracted to the same energies. I am responsible!

“If asked what the two most important things in recovery are, I would have to say willingness and action. When I am willing to do the right thing, I am rewarded with an inner peace no amount of liquor could ever provide. When I am unwilling to do the right thing, I become restless, irritable and discontent. It is always my choice. I am no longer at the mercy of a disease that tells me the only answer is to drink. If willingness is the key to unlock the gates of hell, it is action that opens those doors so that we may walk freely among the living.” My Chance to live,  Big Book

We can recognize when we do not act in a harmful manner, and be glad of that. It is the first  necessary step. However we should recognize that the true worth of who we are comes forward in the actions we Do take. If our recovery is only not taking action, it is like congratulating     ourselves for not robbing a bank. In an addiction we needed to first stop, or moderate a harmful action. We then need to recognize why we were engaging in that action and work on the larger, underlying cause, usually that we do not feel a sense of dignity and healthy presence within   ourselves. If we are not able to do that we will either revert to the addiction or find a different addiction that will continue to bedevil us.

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” Abraham Lincoln

We are no longer victims, we feel a strong sense of self worth, along with a connection to our world and others. This is the healthy balance that permits us to make the right decisions, though not always easy ones. Trying to have everything easy all the time only brings more difficulties, it is the discipline and peace I find in the right path that sustains me. If I do not believe in myself, in my innate goodness, I will be trying to fill the hole of my doubt with many temporary satisfactions that only bring more difficulty.

Essentially people want to do the right thing and often do.

My innate basic goodness, my spiritual center is always present and available. I come from that center many times every day without thinking about it, which is the only way to touch into the Sunlight of the Spirit. Not with thought, but from our heart center that we have learned to access more through meditation, prayer, and an awareness of reality beyond our small selfishness. 

Believe in yourself, feel completely worthy of a good life that is difficult sometimes, and try to help others. What would it feel like to fully believe in yourself?

First pay attention. If you do not have a sense, a feeling of what you are doing, or going to do, you will act from old destructive behaviors. If you can feel fear come up before you act, you will know that this is what you are feeling and you will have a choice of how to act. If you react from fear, you will act by avoiding something, not speaking up or acting when you should, always with gentleness. Or acting off-hand and like smart ass. How easy it is to be cute and subtly demeaning about others. Both actions keep you from making any true connection with yourself and others. If you cannot respect yourself you cannot respect other people and will continue to act in ways that continue to distance you from living honestly.

This involves an awareness of what is going on, as opposed to mindlessly being engrossed in and ill affected by your circumstances. Bring your awareness to bear many times a day. Many times. Keep an eye on yourself. Before you act, know what you are feeling. If it is an old respones to fear or promoting and protecting your image, know that and choose to be KIND and open instead. It feels funny, somewhat exposed at first, but soon it will be a natural honesty and a kindness that you are able to step into the world with. Like breathing fully for the first time.

Once you know what is happening, you can bring to bear the discipline and the courage to mindfully use the tools you have. It brings positive energies into your life and the lives of others. Without progress you become stale and one dimensional. With fearlessness and a willingness to step out into the world you grow and expand. The world opens up.

That is how we progress in recovery and in living our lives, that do make a difference. When you are engaging in life any thought of reverting to your addiction is either not there, or seems so absurd to even consider. This is  true for the difficult and the good times in our lives.

It’s all there, the joys, the difficulties, the confusion, the contentment and the knowing you are engaging it all. Have fun, be a bit depressed, try something new, take up that old hobby again. Begin acting like you want to live fully, and you will.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for

Heart Of Recovery web site  —  fcheartofrecovery.com