11-3-19 Curiosity


Wondering, inquisitiveness, interest, wonder, marvel.

Antonym:  Indifference, disregard, closed, narrow, fearful, striving for a selfish result.

In an addiction there is no curiosity. Mostly, there’s a frozen sense of dread and a need for the world to go the way we want it to, even though we know it is spiraling downward. We’re afraid of change, and incapable of any honest interaction with others. We keep trying to force our    simplistic, selfish needs on everyone. After we have recovered from our main addiction or obsession, we can still utilize the same tactics in running our everyday life, which will continue to bring a sense of dissatisfaction and fear. No way to live your precious life.

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselve exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” – Tony Schwartz

The past can bedevil us. Look at the past: the ‘should-haves’ and the ‘wish I hadn’ts,’ with a sense of your part in it and a curiosity of how to best work with it. Then take care of it the best you can, and let it go. The future can confuse us and bring the fear of ‘I won’t get what I want,’ or ‘something will go wrong.’ Plan the best you can, then let go of any needed outcome. Remain flexible. After considering and taking any action in regard to the past or future, let it go, and if it comes back, let it go again by being curious and engaged in the NOW. Constantly opening to NOW, again and again.

We are SO used to constantly letting our minds run on and on without even being aware of it that it seems natural. It’s actually a disorderly and unbalanced mind that takes us down many side roads of our own making, having nothing to do with reality. Insanity? At the least, it’s being constantly distracted from relating to truth and reality. Awareness and curiosity will bring us back home.

In meditation, mindfulness-awareness, we begin learning how to be curious. We accept and acknowledge our thoughts and then release them. We remain open and curious about what might arise next, without forcing or rejecting anything. We are just seeing what is happening.

Curiosity is a primary aspect of mindfulness. Curiosity can be used as a way to inquire into our experience—the joyful and painful alike. Mindfulness begins with awareness and the recognition or acknowledgment that something is here. It must include intention and the willingness to be with what is being shown. Curiosity or interest can thus lead us to mindful investigation and exploration, coming to fully know experience as it is. Staying with whatever is happening, whether it is wanted or unwanted, can help us to accept what is, and enhance our capacity for compassion. “Acceptance doesn’t require that we have to like what is going on, but rather to be willing to acknowledge it’s reality.” – Melissa Eisler

If we are acting from our ego without any discipline regarding curiosity, it may not turn out well.
“It is not the curiosity itself that is the problem but what we do next. There is a reason we have childproofed wall sockets,” – Dr. M. Lee Freedman  “Curiosity can be only vanity if we only want to know something so that we can talk about it.” (Paraphrased) –  Blaise Pascal

“To truly embrace an attitude of curiosity means you begin to question things in your life and the world around you with no attachment to the answer. This last part is the key. Even if the subject at hand is something you know a lot about, yourself for example, pretend you are getting to know it for the first time and with wonder, begin to inquire, observe and learn. To do this without judgment requires an incredibly high degree of openness.” – Melissa Eisler

Be curious about how you can be present and perhaps useful to someone else. We need to care for ourselves, but only to the point of being and feeling healthy enough, to share with others. Not needing to be a Mother Teresa or a Gandhi, but to simply be present and available for someone else, and be a positive aspect in their life. There is the richness of life: giving, not getting.

Be curious about all things in your life. All the everyday tasks and interactions. Driving to work on the same route, talking to the same people. Sitting in or walking across the same room. Drinking from the same cup. Practice opening up to all the usual things in your life. See them all for the first time, every time. Deepen your awareness and appreciation by NOT KNOWING anything. It takes practice to consistently open up, instead of watching the re-run. Can you feel the irritation when something is not happening the way YOU expected? Great! Use the awareness of your irritation to open up and accept what ACTUALLY is happening. You may get a good laugh at your expectation and feeling of entitlement. Then you feel the breath of fresh air in the acceptance and curiosity of,  “OK…what now?” 

Be curious about being lazy, or being more responsible and pro-active. Don’t need to change anything, just be curious how it feels. Any change will come about organically if you keep opening up to living more fully with awareness. There is a heaviness in our expected normal lifestyle. Different day, same shit. You are the one who can choose to wallow in the same shit, or can open up to the wonder and magic of your life.

“Curiosity allowed me to question all the things I’d assumed would make me happy, or keep me safe. When my life was completely upended, and I felt that I literally had no ground to stand on, curiosity kept the possibility of a new, stronger kind of happiness alive.” – Patricia Rockman

Be childlike in your opening up to experiences, not childish, by trying to force an outcome, or repeat the same old pattern because you’re comfortable with it. Don’t binge watch re-runs on your mental tablet; open up to a completely new experience with surround-sound and a 360
degree screen. Feel the vibrant reality of a curious presence that is always there.

Most important is your curiosity, that desire to keep questioning, to keep finding something new…an opening, a possibility. There is no such thing as forcing happiness. The things that are right for you light you up from the inside. It takes curiosity to find that personal magic.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one curious step
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for
Heart Of Recovery web site  —  fcheartofrecovery.com