10-20-19 Others


Most of us know that if we eat our fruit and veggies, exercise often, and avoid smoking, we have a better chance of living longer and healthier lives. But your doctor may not have told you that regularly giving to others should perhaps be added to that healthy checklist. We are hard-wired for face-to-face contact that includes lots of touch, eye contact, and smiles. Such interactions release a hormone called oxytocin, which helps us to bond and care for others, and also helps us to handle stress better.
If you want to live forever, I can’t help you with that. But if you want to live a longer, happier, and healthier life, take all the usual precautions that your doctor recommends, and then get out there and share your time with those who need it. That’s the caring cure. EverydayHealth.com

We care for others as a natural part of who we are, but not to the point where we are harming ourselves, or enabling others in destructive behavior. We do not try to fix others, only they can do that. If we find we keep trying to fix the world, we should recognize our behavior as harmful to ourselves and others.
Compassion can be gentle, or at times very difficult, direct and seemingly harsh. We need to learn to say no to our obsessions, and unhealthy requests or demands from others.If we seem to be doing well, it is useful to extend our well-being to someone whom it may help, which enlarges our sense of well-being also. If we are emotionally engaged in a painful time, we can realize what is bringing us pain, work on letting go of our obsession, mainly by engaging in healthy activities for ourselves, AND getting out of ourselves to help someone else. This could be simply having a kind word for someone who is hurting.

City people adjust to the constant demands of urban life by reducing their involvement with others,” But some people seem to be more other-oriented than others regardless of the situation. People who feel in control of what happens in their lives and who have little need for approval from others are the most likely to help others.They have a positive view of people in general, they are concerned about others’ welfare and they take personal responsibility for how other people are doing.
It’s difficult to lead a competitive, individualistic life”- as we’re raised to do in American society “without devaluing others to some extent.

I think it’s part of human nature to feel the impulse to ease the suffering of other living beings. When Eckhart Tolle woke up and realized that everything he had ever desired existed right here in the present moment. He suddenly knew he was valuable, worthy, and didn’t have to do anything to earn that grace. At some point, a pure impulse to share with others the bliss of what he was experiencing in the present moment motivated him to write The Power of Now, and A New Earth.

Within the family of recovery that I am connected with, I will not act to degrade anyone else, but act to support them and thus myself. In recovery meetings I may be inspired to have a greater awareness of the importance of being kind and patient with others, sharing my difficulties and solutions since that is what we have specifically gathered for. I then begin to take my elevated state of awareness into all aspects of my life. I learn to be responsible for my actions and that I am responsible for at least not doing harm to others. If I truly wish to grow and flourish in life, I begin to actively be mindful of how I might be helpful. In recovery we learn to move from isolation and selfishness,- being aggressive or fearful,- into a more open and aware mindset of others and their struggles. We are able to see “them” as nothing different from ourselves and we wish to act to help alleviate the pain.We learn to act appropriately for the environment that we are in, and that we have an active role, a responsibility, in determining that it is a healthy environment.

The ordinary term of love is usually about attachment, more or less successful relationships and sex; all of which are rarely without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and the unselfish interest in others’ welfare: Wanting others to be happy.

“If you light a lamp for someone else it will also brighten your path.”
Our ordinary nature is what suffers, and we can deal with this by being mindful. We can stop and take a breath, we unite mind and body. We can touch into the hardened or inflamed part, the aggressive or fearful part that is suffering, with kindness and recognize that it is part of us that is causing suffering. We care about it and are ready to let it go, to transform it through our kindness to ourselves. Breathe into it, let it dissipate, and feel the spaciousness and ability to expand our consciousness to others occur.

Then he asked for the grace to bring love, forgiveness — and joy to every human being he could. That he might be able to find some of these treasures too — he would try to do so by what he called self-forgetting. — He thought it better to give comfort than to receive it, better to understand than to be understood, better to forgive than to be forgiven. – – – St. Francis Prayer

You can only find the peace within yourself, to the degree that you desire and work for bringing peace to others.

Always make an effort to be kind. Not manipulative – Kind.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.

Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com