7-14-19 With Peace X

With Peace

In my addiction I had no discipline in regard to my spiritual, physical or emotional well     being, nor the well being of others. However, I could have an amazing obsession in pursuing my destructive addiction. In an addiction I had little choice, I was overcome with
confusion and fear.

Today I learn and grow in maintaining a watchful, and caring eye on my thoughts and        behaviors. When I come from aggression, fear or avoidance, I may feel a small victory in   getting what I want by denying someone else their worth and dignity, or avoiding a
situation, which only expands the difficulty in the future. 

I now begin to feel a connection with others, and do not wish to hurt, or bring suffering to them, any more than I wish to for myself.

When I come from Peace, I must have a discipline to not react. But to consider and act wisely from my heart. This may feel like I have not gotten what I wanted, (immediate gratification), but I will feel a sense of rightness in my actions, or in my not reacting.

Over time, as we continue to touch into our Peacefulness, we realize our feelings and thoughts are transitory, impermanent. Peace is calm, gentle, always available, and strong. I will feel a sense of dignity, and worthiness about myself, and in how I treat others.

It is not important how someone else acts, how I act IS important. To say yes or no when I should, kindly but definitely, will bring a sense of worthiness and strength to myself.   

 I will feel the peace that comes from my efforts.

You are learning a new behavior, so please be patient with yourself. You will make mistakes and fumble a bit in working with finding your connection with yourself and with others. That’s fine, you are moving in the right direction. Never try to be perfect, it is only an excuse to give up, or to judge yourself. Drop the judgements! Peace begins to seep in.

Recovery – is to restore, to regain. Not the need to find anything new or different. I have  never lost my spiritual self, I am only sometimes in a place where I am unable to see or feel it. It is still there! And I can touch into it if I am willing to be with Peace, instead of in my habitual graspings and fears. That peace is always with me.

Sometimes I feel very spiritually connected, I can be considerate and patient, I feel a definite connection to others, and a desire to engage in the world. Sometimes I feel agitated and     resentful because things are NOT going the way I want them to. Other times I just sort of mindlessly float through life. And that is OK. I keep working on the more peaceful me that is already there.

When I have the courage to not act impulsively, I may miss the intensity of an old behavior harmful that I enjoyed rolling around in. Both fear and aggression can have a real substance, or presence we identify with, which make us feel all juiced up. We may miss that intensity, or the need to hide, and that is a good thing. Kind of a withdrawal from our harmful behaviors. We are training our minds to touch into our sense of peace, instead of our small protective re-actions that only promote confusion and a disconnect. Peace will naturally arise when we give our old behaviors space, and want to promote peace instead of fear, and make the effort to do so.

I need to get over being RIGHT and trying to fix anyone. I don’t fix myself, I open up, I     relax, accept, and feel the next right action. I constantly touch into the innate peace and intelligence that is within me. Soon that Peace will begin being who I am.

Attachment is where I begin narrowing my vision, judging, and start resentments of others and myself, as not worthy, or as being wrong.

When I feel a twinge of — “I shouldn’t do this,” with small things, it is a good time to practice, to become familiar with choosing peace over an ego’s fear or satisfaction. When I do come from peace and kindness, I will hurt when it hurts, and laugh when it is joyful, and find a very full life, with everything that happens.

Also I will find the strength to speak up, kindly, when I need to, instead of being afraid to speak up because I may get a negative reaction from someone. My sense of peace will never be felt when I am being a coward by not speaking up. Or if I speak up to selfishly with aggression, to get what I want. Peace comes through speaking the truth kindly, when I need to. Do not let having an interaction with someone that is difficult sway you from
acting from your heart. Always act in a kind way, not being swayed by fear.

When you feel tension, take a breath and calm yourself. Take 3 breaths and touch into your kindness and let peace guide you. Meditation is where we begin training to use the breath to calm and open our minds. We find that our awareness of being uptight, fearful or aggressive becomes a message that tells us we can CHOOSE to breathe, relax and give the situation some space. To not react with old behaviors.  It takes practice to remember to take a breath and center yourself. Work on it many times every day. Start with small things like going into a store, or going back to get something you forgot. Practice being with PEACE, when you walk, when you are talking or listening, and when you are alone.

This takes work, and a constant awareness of your true heart and self. 

When you feel a tension, be brave and aware enough to breathe and calm yourself, not just act in a selfish or rude way, or to ignore something that you need to address.  Bravery is   gentleness and strength. You are your best teacher, pay attention.

Can you have the discipline to practice a spiritual life, to bring peace, the best you can, everyday? Can you be gentle and strong enough to not hold grudges? To look for what is good, not wrong? If you are not promoting peace — why not? Today you have a choice.

The results are a long lasting sense of contentment and peace that enhances your life and the world.
Through a gentle but firm discipline, comes the joy of life.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.”                                  

Heart Of Recovery web site  —  fcheartofrecovery.com