Monthly Archives: October 2015

10-4-15 Judgment to Compassion

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Judgment to Compassion

Judgment – The formation of an opinion based on evaluation.
A misfortune believed to be sent by God as punishment for a sin.
Compassion – A deep awareness of the suffering of another, coupled with the wish to relieve it.
When we judge we are determining that a situation or another’s behavior is correct or wrong. And we know this because WE have the capacity to know what is right.
We delude ourselves that when we limit reality by our definition of it, we keep everything under our control. Yet life is not for the purpose of controlling. Our insistence that life be as we determine it, even in the face of irrefutable evidence to the contrary, keeps us stuck defending beliefs that are neither helpful nor true. We enter the present moment with curiosity, openness and acceptance. We let go of our judgments and become enchanted and delighted, surprised and vibrantly alive. Jan Waterman

We are addicted to our thoughts and our craving to have things our way. This is a narrow view that constantly brings discontent. Most of us spend the day in constant contemplation of how we can help ourselves. This is a very strong and practiced behavior. First, as in all addictions, we need to be aware of our behavior, then to look at our behavior with discrimination and compassion to see if it is hindering us or cultivating a healthy life and relationship with the world. If it is hindering us, what will we do about it? Knowledge is essential but useless unless put into action. We can begin to change our behavior slowly but with determination to stay on the path.

We can judge ourselves as – not good enough, a poverty mentality, fearful. Or – Better than others, promoting ourselves, either with our achievements or with our special unique problems, which others really need to understand. This is a means of detachment, and is lonely.
When we judge others, we deepen and widen the distance between ourself and the other person, and the world.

In recovery we have learned to have an understanding and compassion for another’s struggle with an addiction, which for someone who is not an addict cannot comprehend. We need to continue to bring a sense of compassion for others and ourselves in ALL respects. Why would we not want to do this???
When we cease being aggressive towards our emotions, our judgments, just see them for what they are, accept that, and move forward in a fresh openness, compassion arises naturally and the chains of judgment begin falling away.
We will feel fear and a sense of loss, when we begin letting go of our judgments and replacing them with thoughts of compassion and understanding.
How could compassionate thoughts of others, ever replace all the constant thoughts I have about myself, and all the energy I use in judging others and myself. That is a full time job with mandatory overtime.

As you begin to trust and believe in yourself, you naturally have compassion for others, this is not a feeling sorry for. It is a basic, pervasive warmth. As you continue making friends with your self, compassion is the bridge to the OUTSIDE world, that will become a part of YOUR world, and you of it.
You are recharged by the energies you are in touch with. Compassion is not a matter of giving something to someone else, but of giving up your demands….. Compassion has nothing to do with achievement, only spaciousness, and generosity. Paraphrase – Sakyong

Whenever we are feeling a negative judgment about someone, we should ask instead – How are they feeling? This will bring us a freedom we have never known.
When we think of the other person, instead of coming from ME, we can feel an opening up of our minds and hearts, we can actually feel it. Try it, pay attention to any change.
If we have quit fighting anyone or anything, what is left after we have refused to fight anymore?
Refusing to fight is difficult! Being peaceful and compassionate takes more courage and discipline than any violence we have seen.
A blessing naturally occurs when we overcome our aggression.
Constantly wonder, How are they feeling?

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.”
Heart Of Recovery web site –