1-12-20 Being Comfortable With Discomfort

Being Comfortable With Discomfort

“Whenever there is a sense of threat we harden. And so, if we don’t harden, what happens? We’re left with that uneasiness, that feeling of threat. That is when the real journey of courage begins — To find the soft spot and the tenderness in that very uneasy place and stay with it.”
Pema Chodron

To be OK with being uncomfortable does not mean we are trying to dismiss our uncomfortableness, we are aspiring to become aware of it, accept that we are uncomfortable, and to hold it kindly, within a greater awareness that includes compassion.

Fear is a natural reaction of moving closer to the truth.

This earnestness, this seriousness about everything in our lives — including practice — this goal-oriented, we’re going-to-do-it-or-else attitude, is the world’s greatest killjoy. There’s no sense of appreciation because we’re so solemn about everything. In contrast, a joyful mind is very ordinary and relaxed. So lighten up. Don’t make such a big deal.

I used to try and find a comfortable place in my head by denying what was truly happening and trying to replace and denying my discomfort, with a drug or a behavior. SO – How did that work? Not too well. It only deepened my pain, and took myself further away from the richness and the amazing embrace of life. I can still use old denying behaviors today, and keep hiding.

If I quit fighting myself, what would happen? Might make room for Peace. Then I would be happier, —- Not sure I can deal with that, I find I actually do fear, resist, being happy. Is it fear of missing my familiar discomfort, or fear of never truly believing it’s OK for me to be happy? What would it be like if I made an effort to relax, and know, without thinking about it, that I am a wonderful, flawed human that can CHOOSE to be happier?

When your aspiration is to lighten up, you begin to have a sense of humor. Your serious state of mind keeps getting popped. In addition to a sense of humor, a basic support for a joyful mind is curiosity, paying attention, taking an interest in the world around you, instead of being so wrapped up in that little soap-opera world in your head. Happiness is not required, but being curious without a heavy judgmental attitude helps. If you are judgmental, you can even be curious about that. The more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back.
If YOU quit fighting, there is only peace left.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot. Eleanor Roosevelt

You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. Marcus Aurelius

Some have the misconception that if you are happy with yourself you won’t change things about yourself. This isn’t true; you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you don’t like. When you stop fighting you suffer less and accomplish more.

Acceptance does not mean you are agreeing to a situation or action. It means you are acknowledging that the event happened and is real. Acceptance means not fighting reality.

Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being “without anxiety about imperfection.”

As a friend of mine put it, “Feeling that something is wrong with me is the invisible and toxic gas I am always breathing.” When we experience our lives through this lens of personal insufficiency, we are imprisoned in what I call the trance of unworthiness. Trapped in this trance, we are unable to perceive the truth of who we really are.” Tara Brach,

If you feel you need to wait until this or that is fixed, or worked little more on something that your judgmental mind sees as wrong, realize you must take a step into trust. A spiritual opening that is beyond your cognitive judgmental processes. How has your judgmental mind worked for you so far? That mindset will keep you from ever being OK with yourself. Do not have a fixation on how things need to be, for YOU. Open up to how they really are.

We have the opportunity to become what we want to become. When we pay attention, have an awareness of our thoughts and actions, we begin by accepting all parts of ourselves. We then choose to promote and accumulate those thoughts and actions that bring acceptance and peace, and unburden ourselves with those thoughts and actions that bring judgement and fear. We actively encourage thoughts that are wholesome and comforting, and release those that are negative.
Start being the person you want to be, right now!

It is like cleaning all the clutter and junk out your house that that has become so familiar that it holds you prisoner, you identify with junk. And replacing it all with a few beautiful pieces, and having a good space to be and live in.

As we become more comfortable with ourselves on all levels, we begin being more comfortable with making decisions that promote our happiness.
We begin being OK with the discomfort of a new behavior of caring for and trusting ourselves.

Life is precious, treat it as the fleeting and valuable thing it is, respect it!

If you wish to be happier, drop the burden of disliking and not trusting yourself, and actively promote loving and trusting yourself. It really is just that. What we do makes a difference.

Yes, comfortable with imperfection, just like everyone else, imperfect and wonderfully human.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.
Heart Of Recovery web site — fcheartofrecovery.com