9-30-18 Be Who You – Who “We” Are

Be Who You – Who “We” Are

It is completely necessary to be an ordinary human being, to have your emotions, your feelings, to know sometimes you are stupid, or amazingly intelligent, lustful, kind, lazy, energetic, fearful and angry, and bold and wise. You need to be and acknowledge exactly who you are.

If you try to be someone who does not have some negative qualities, you will only be someone who is trying to be someone else, who is perfect.

If you deny your positive qualities, you are choosing to roll around in the muck of poor me. 

Surrender. Surrender to the wisdom and kindness that is innate within you. You have the capacity to be strong, stable and to have clarity.

Surrender to the goofy, even stupid way you act and think sometimes. 

The goofiness is not who you truly are, it is how you sometimes act.

Your addiction shrouded you in strong denial. You now have the capacity, though difficult at times, to look honestly at yourselves and to stop living in fear and confusion.

Feel when you are trying to manipulate a situation. To manipulate is to manufacture, to create a false world. When you manipulate you will feel a tension, a wrongness. When you feel that tension you can BREATHE and re-set your mind to be more open. It may be uncomfortable to deal with the real world in an honest manner. You have old behaviors that prompt you to defend, avoid, or ignore. You may have to take this slowly, which is fine,    as long as you keep going.

Pay attention when you feel a tension, and look at the cause. You need to look honestly at yourselves, but always with COMPASSION. Do not judge yourself. Look at yourself as though you were watching a movie, and feel compassion for that person. To detach with love. A light touch is helpful, don’t get all wrapped up in poor me, or in how wonderful I am. See yourself with a bit of humor. Then let go. 

The more you let go of your perceived sense of self, you will more often instinctually know what to do, and be ok when you don’t toe any straight line. You will begin to actually like yourself, trust yourself, and enjoy life more.

Don’t try to fix or change anything, especially yourself.

If you do not have a hand in your own guidance the winds of whimsy and caprice will blow you about. But you can only guide yourself when you know whom it is you are guiding.

When you are able to accept yourself more, which may be a slow process, you are able to begin to accept others and the world as it really is. This will be a wonderful step in engaging more fully in life and your relationships. This will come slowly, but if you stay on the road, you will find a change that is much healthier and fulfilling.

Compassion for yourself, will transfer naturally to others and open up the world.

Then, the You club, which you have quite an intense interest in, and of which there is only one member, will then slowly and perhaps begrudgingly, expand into touching more often into the WE club.

The WE club is less selfish, more compassionate and a much richer more satisfying way to live.

We do need to have a practice, a way that we begin looking at our world and ourselves in a different light. What is your practice, your practice for yourself, and to include ALL others? 

Do you wish to progress, or to keep floundering around? This is one of the things we DO have control over. Not necessarily control over where we will end up. But to be able to embrace who we are and the world, without fear. How we do something is more important than what we do.

Practically, know when you are experiencing tension. This could be when a certain circumstance is occurring, meeting the in-laws, something job or relationship related.  Many of us experience an underlying unease most of the time, which means we are constantly on guard and re-upping our membership in the ME club. Learn to be sensitive to your tension, and then willing to let go.

This is where the practice of mindfulness, meditation, is vitally important. At some point in our practice, we begin to let go of our grasping to uphold “me” as something opposed to “the world out there.” We start subtly shifting away from being dualistically mindful of various things, to sensing that we are just awareness itself, inseparable from our surroundings.

I suppose it’s sort of like sailing. Rather than me doing a lot of rowing, I’m learning how to harness the wind so it propels me toward where I need to go.

Practice becomes very simple if we pay attention, carefully and non-reactively, to our suffering, that is, the contractions, restrictions and stresses in our body, mind and heart. You will see the grasping and you will see the possibility of genuine happiness that comes from releasing that grasping. 

It’s about being so completely immersed in and open to the present moment that we know clearly and fully what the situation is – including our own strengths and weaknesses. With that clarity of vision, we can choose to flow more in harmony with the way things really are by confidently relying on our known strengths, rather than fighting to hold up our version of a fool’s paradise.

Yesterday I was clever and wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing     myself. Rumi 

When you truly care about something you take care of it, gently and consistently. Care very much about yourself, which will lead into caring about others. There is truly no difference.     That is the ticket to the WE club. Welcome.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.

Heart Of Recovery web site    fcheartofrecovery.com