9-9-18 The Courage of My Convictions


Courage – To do what one thinks, feels, is right. Even though you feel fear or resistance and it may be dangerous or unpopular. The word origin of courage is heart or spirit.

Convictions – A strong or compelling persuasion or belief.

In an addiction there was no courage involved. It was all avoidance and ignorance, or not caring what happened to myself or anyone else, as long as I could get what I wanted, so I could continue to live in a false and fogged over world.

As I heal and progress in my recovery I come upon many situations that I am unsure of. This uncertainty brings up fear and I may want to escape, disconnect from dealing directly with the real world. I have my recovery family, and other people that care for me, that help me to feel connected and to keep moving forward. I know I have to maintain a connection with healthy people and situations so I can begin to trust myself and become a whole, imperfect human. 

When I first begin recovery, or come in a program, I don’t know how to take right action, I do what I’m told by people who have been through this process already.  Treat others with respect and kindness. Be on time. Don’t steal. Tell the truth. Take care of your physical self as well as your spiritual self.  Do the best job you can do.  Wash the dishes and pay the bills when they’re due. Take direction. As I take more right action, I begin to understand and develop a feel for right action.  Eventually, the conviction about right and wrong re-grows or develops in me and I feel it, I know it, if I do wrong. I make amends, and move more into taking right action. I know when I act in ways that promote growth and connections. I feel more settled as I deal with the ups and downs that life will bring. 

I begin to trust myself and start finding the Courage to do what is right and engage in what brings meaning to my life. And to consider others as equal to myself as spiritual beings on this strange and wonderful trip.

I actually begin to have some convictions as to how I should, or could be living my life in positive and healthy ways.

I begin to recognize how social pressures and old behaviors that may tell me to not make waves, go along with the norm, or – always rebelling, needing to control and manipulate, seeing the negative side of everything, both can determine how I think and act. Through my intelligence, considerations, and an enlarging of my trust in myself and coming more from my heart, not my head, I am able to feel what I really think is the better way to live within, as a part of the world, not outside of it.

I begin to worry less about what others think, yet to consider what others offer by way of wisdom, and make my mind and heart up, as to how I should act.

I do believe that generosity, patience and compassion are noble qualities I would like to see in my life. I would like to find peace in myself, and foster peace in other’s lives and the world. How do I do this? 

When I come to the point of feeling I really am feeling my path, and have ideas as to how to progress on it, that is when having the courage of my convictions will come to fruition.

Living the courage of my convictions may entail a life-style change. Hopefully a mentality of how can I engage more fully in the world and help others, as I also step onto the path that is right for me.

Maybe it involves a job change, or to stopping whining about the job I do have, and engaging freshly and fully into what I am doing.

I need to get out of my comfort zone, and look at my life more completely. What would be healthy to change, and how do I take action on the courage of my convictions.

Recycle more, drive less, walk and bicycle more? Meditate, go to church regularly and read spiritual books. Go to programs, learn something new. Clean the house more often, walk the dog, fix up the yard, and connect with family or friends first, not waiting for them to reach out. Step more firmly into how I relate with others, Never feel like a victim, but one that is living the best I can while maintaining flexibility and giving myself space to grow and learn. Let go of resentments, whining, and judgements, and engaging in my spiritual path more directly.

Take time to consider, write down, what you feel would be a better way of rearranging your life. And how you can begin in a manner that will be sustainable and realistic. How does it feel when you do that?

When we enter the present moment with curiosity, openness and acceptance, we feel life and what we are capable of. There is the sense of everything opening outward instead of everything being poisoned inward. We let go of our judgments and become enchanted and delighted,        surprised and vibrantly alive.  We do not deny the difficulties in life that occur. We will go through stages of working through our pain and those things that deny us a sense of ease and open awareness.

Our mind is the source of both happiness and suffering.  Emotions are temporary states of mind. Don’t let them permanently destroy you. Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them. An emotion is an experience you are having, it is not who you are. And most importantly, there is a sense of enormous simplicity. Just simplicity. We make life complicated when it is actually simple.

The JOY in life comes through our discipline.

Keep life as simple as possible and appreciate the present moment and action.

Don’t be attached to anything. Just be mindful of whatever there is to see and what you do.

This is the way to the truth. Be natural, don’t manipulate, don’t be afraid.

A most harmful feeling is that you are not a worthy person. You are worthy!  Have confidence and radiate kindness because you are not afraid. And when you walk in that truth, you shine.

Do not think that a small virtue will not return in your future lives.                                       Just as falling drops of water will fill a large container,                                                              The little virtues that steadfast accumulate will completely overwhelm you.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.

Heart Of Recovery web site    fcheartofrecovery.com