5-27-18 Honesty


Honesty – Uprightness of character or action. a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way.  Implies trustworthiness, reliability and decency.

Dishonest – deceitful, evasive, manipulative, indecent and immoral.

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. Albert Einstein

Be Mindful in your everyday life, in all you do, Feel what you are doing. When you begin to know you are engaging in old grasping behaviors, being dishonest and manipulative Stop! Healthier options will naturally present themselves. To be honest is our nature, we permit our lack of faith in ourselves determine that we cannot be authentic, kind and honest. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. The accomplishment is being on the path of real. How much better that feels is amazing! See NOW as an opportunity to begin. Tomorrow, or next week, see NOW as the opportunity, we always have NOW. 

A problem arises only when you try to manipulate a situation to your advantage or ignore it. Chogyam Trungpa:

To practice rigorous self-honesty, we need to face our feelings and get extraordinarily honest with ourselves.  Am I lying to myself? What is my motive? The Twelve-Step Buddhist:

 Omission of the truth is no different than lying.

Why do I lie, or “shade” the truth? Is it to maintain a false sense of self, am I protecting and projecting an image that I have of myself? If I can get what I want, then I will be happy. Except I will always need more.

To be gently but firmly honest with others, and myself is to connect with that vital guiding energy that connects all life. I can truly feel my life energy, the sunlight of the spirit. It is simple and true.  

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. e. e. cummings.

Honesty also entails making decisions about what is healthy and what is unhealthy in our lives, and taking action to support the healthy and discard the unhealthy. If we are engaged in an unhealthy relationship we should look closely at the reason for continuing it. Are we afraid of being alone or of conflict. We need to know we can handle anything as long as we believe in ourselves and are honest. When we release an unhealthy part of our lives, it opens up the space and the possibility for a healthier way of living, that was previously filled with the wrong stuff. 

Start small; don’t exaggerate even a little bit to make it sound better. (Ego)

When you do lie, even a little bit, amend it as soon as possible.

Pause, breathe, gently come from your true self, before speaking. Feel if you are trying to get something, or avoid something. You may miss the drama at first, but what you gain is a sense of dignity and honor. 

Why would we not want to see the truth? The world may seem somewhat bland at first without all of our additions and attractions, like a cheap sideshow, but with a continued effort to see and relate to the truth,

While consumed by our addiction, lying came easily; we rationalized it so easily it seemed natural and necessary. As we make progress on the path of recovery, we find that merely not indulging in our addiction does not bring a sense of serenity or peace. We come to realize that a spiritual essence, our clear natural state of being, is available to us. And is an essential and necessary ingredient, in order to begin living in a healthy manner that embraces a respect for our own lives and the lives of all others. It starts to come naturally and we begin to realize a sense of simple dignity and confidence in our lives, which replaces our confusion and uneasiness. Basically, if you lie and manipulate, in order to get something or to avoid something, you will be unhappy. If you are honest and have the courage to see and act from a heart that cares about yourself others, you will be happy. 

“A truth that’s told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent.” William Blake

Words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace. Buddha explained right speech as follows: 1. To abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully 2. To abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously against others, 3. To abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and 4. To abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.

(1) Is it true?  (2) Is it necessary?  (3) Is it kind?

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky

To make the effort to be truthful is essential. However to make an equal effort to be kind, is also essential. Truth without kindness can be self serving and cruel.

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. Albert Einstein

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.

Heart Of Recovery web site    fcheartofrecovery.com