3-18-18 Growing Through Adversity

Growing Through Adversity

If none of us have grown and learned some from our adversity, we would not be here now.
I have learned that people and circumstances can and do enrich our lives, or can make life harder, but neither outside enrichment nor adversity defines who I am, or what my possibilities are.
Adversity is a window into seeing what we believes defines us, and showing it to be false.

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don’t embrace trouble; that’s as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.

To meet troubles as a friend may be difficult to do at times. We can at least accept that they are a reality, work with them as we need to and gain strength in our capacity to grow and open up more, not close up and retreat. ??The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he’s got an abscess on his knee or in his soul. ~Rona Barrett
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~African Proverb
We do need to keep our hand on the tiller, still guide the boat, especially in rough weather.

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. ~Sophocles
The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us. ~Voltaire

I smile when I look back at the troubles that have strengthened me. What seems to be
insurmountable struggles then are now beautiful ornaments illuminating my soul. ~Dodinsky,

When something difficult arises we acknowledge it, and let it be as it is. We do not try to fix or avoid it, both of these only enlarge the difficulty. Blame and resentments, towards others or ourselves, will expand the difficulty and promote negativity. We have lessened the “feeling sorry for myself,” but need to realize that when we have a resentment or are blaming someone or something for our problems, it is just a way of feeling sorry for ourselves, AND pointing a finger at the culprit. Whenever we can drop a resentment, at another or ourselves, we feel a useless weight drop, and our vision and heart begin to clear. When we can recognize that another may have acted in a way that distressed me, and not blame them, but have Compassion for the pain or fear that they are experiencing. This is one instance of what is meant by “getting out of ourselves”. No, it is not all about me, non of it is, but it takes a new behavior to realize this. We work with the difficulty and get on with life. Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances, as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. To get over the rich, rolling around in POOR ME mud.We can then move forward.

I saw a picture of a child that was a skeleton, skin and bones, and probably a day or two from dying. It has stayed with me, and reminds me that I do not have any problems. And it is important that I do what I can to help the world and those with real problems, as much as I can. I need to feel healthy so I can help others, not for my own petty superficial pleasures. How we are able to help others will vary. Start with not gossiping, holding doors open and controlling anger and selfishness. These small things have a large effect on others and on ourselves.

Noticing small things helps. When I am agitated or mourning, I can take a walk and clear my mind the best I can, and notice, with my senses, not my mind, all there is to see, hear, feel, taste and smell. I walk slowly and with the purpose of only experiencing the world, I let go of everything for a little bit. This always brings me a sense of being grounded, I am feeling the world, not just my mental tightness, and I begin to heal.

Adversity is when something happens that we do not want to happen, or we lose something
important to us. We may be able to recognize a habit energy, that we need that something, to feel safe or complete. We can learn that we really do not need that, but we are complete as we are, and can add positive things to our lives only when we come from a place of not needing.
To begin to realize how much we do have, and it is moer than enough.

Our addiction has kept us in a jail cell of selfishness and disconnect from the world, and others. We can begin, and we only need to begin, opening our hearts and minds to the possibility that we are Worthy of being happy, that a deeper connection with our world and ourselves is possible. We see that others have done it, that it is possible. To open our hearts and minds just a little, to begin embracing life, to let the “sunlight of the spirit” start shining through the cracks in our armor, is a wondrous experience.

Our armor cracked when we accepted our addiction and grew up a bit. We need to let more cracks appear in our armor, to let more sunshine in. We may need to mourn or truly feel our pain in order to be able to let go. To let go is to open up to all the other possibilities. Possibilities that were there but we could not see them because of the blinders of me, me ,me, we had on.

The simple act of mindfulness, paying attention, in meditation and in the physical things we do in life, has an amazing effect on permitting myself to simply be present in what is. Being present, not self engaged, is the only place that we can touch our spiritual center, or be fully engaged in the truth of reality.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.”
Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com