2-4-18 Know Who You Are

Know Who You Are

It is completely necessary to be an ordinary human being, to have our emotions, our feelings, to be stupid, lustful, lazy, fearful and angry. We need to be and acknowledge exactly who we are.
If we try to be someone who does not have some of the negative qualities that we don’t want in ourselves, we will only be someone who is trying to be someone else. We will never be in touch with who we really are.

We may have in our minds, an ideal self, a self that we know we SHOULD be. It is a good thing to aspire and have ideals that are beyond where we really are. We may think we are pretty much a saint, or think we are unworthy and afraid a lot. These are behaviors we have learned and can un-learn.
But we first need to be fully aware of who we really are, and how we really act and think.
This will involve the necessity of humility, bravery, and honesty that we have not really known.

In being aware , becoming familiar with who we are, we are trying to know exactly what to address, what needs a look at, in order to avoid harmful behaviors that may seem so familiar we don’t even think about them. If we never see who we are we will never know what we can work on. We will continue lying to ourselves and being confused.
Being who we are, means clearly seeing. It does not mean we mindlessly promote and continue the harmful, negative parts of our behavior that keep us in bondage and fear. We practice MOSTLY being compassionate and kind to ourselves. As we honestly look at ourselves, our self compassion will enable us to be honest. If we are hard, demanding and judgmental about ourselves, we will become defensive and continue rationalizing bad behavior. We will keep hiding and BSing ourselves, so we are not judged.

We DO NOT Judge ourselves!!! We look kindly and gently to see the truth. Then we are able to accept and work with ourselves. Don’t scare yourself away.
To be able to see and work with a negative behavior is an amazingly fulfilling act. We begin to actually like and trust ourselves. New ground for most of us.

In an addiction we had no chance to know who we really were. We were blindly, mindlessly, led by compulsions and strong needs that cancelled out any intelligent awareness.

We do not want to be BAD people, and we are not. We may have done some things that were harmful to ourselves and others and sunk pretty low in our self pity and judgements of others and ourselves. These were actions we took, not who we really were or are.
We do not want to continue letting our old behaviors discolor our lives. We need to work on being able to see who we are. THEN we can really begin to grow.
Just the ability to look honestly at ourselves is most of the “battle”.
Just by recognizing a behavior, our innate sense of goodness and bravery will begin to guide us in a better way. You will permit your true nature to unfold and be present.

Surrender. Be who you are!
Our addiction shrouded us in strong denial. We now have the capacity, though difficult at times, to look honestly at ourselves and to stop living in fear and confusion.
Feel when you are trying to manipulate a situation. To manipulate is to manufacture, to create a false world. When we manipulate we will feel a tension, a tightness. When we feel that tension we can BREATHE and re-set our minds to be more open. It will be uncomfortable to deal with the real world in an honest manner. We have old behaviors that prompt us to defend, avoid, or ignore.

We pay attention when we feel a tension, and look at the cause. We need to look honestly at ourselves, but always with COMPASSION. Do not judge yourself. Look as though you were watching a movie, and feel compassion for that person. A light touch is helpful, don’t get all wrapped up in poor me, make sure that there is a bit of humor in your condition when you begin getting too tight.

We will instinctually know what to do, and be ok when we don’t toe any straight line.
We will begin to actually like ourselves and enjoy life more.
Don’t try to fix or change anything, especially yourself.
We kept trying to change things with our addiction, let’s not keep doing it.
If we do not have a hand in our own guidance the winds of whimsy and caprice will blow us about. But we can only guide ourselves when we know whom it is we are guiding.

When we are able to accept ourselves more, and this may be a slow process, we are able to begin to accept ourselves, others and the world as it really is. This will be a wonderful step in engaging more fully in life and our relationships. This will come slowly, but if you stay on the road, you will find a change that is so much healthier and fulfilling.
Compassion for yourself, will transfer naturally to others and open up the world.

We do need to have a practice, a way that we begin looking at our world and ourselves in a different light.
If we don’t do something different not much will change.
With force some things may be accomplished, with gentleness all things can be accomplished.

As with a misguided child, be gentle but firm in a caring guidance.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.
Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com