10-1-17 Acceptance


The action of consenting to receive or undertake, (take action on), something offered:
Acceptance = To acknowledge the difficulty in your life without escaping from it or avoiding it.
Realize that you can be in control of how you react, think and feel.
Even as you may react negatively to something that has happened, you realize that any actions that come from a negative state of mind, will continue to promote suffering. If you are brave enough to act with mindfulness and gentleness, you know that the effect will be one of growth and peace.

Choosing acceptance as your predominant way of “being” transcends the limitations of the intellect, opening your eyes to the matrix of illusion that so many who find themselves caught in seemingly inescapable cycles of fear, doubt, worry and anxiety “perceive” as being so real.

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place or thing, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me. And I can find no serenity until I ACCEPT that person, place thing or situation, as being exactly the way it is…. I need to concentrate not so much what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes. If I focus on a problem, the problem gets bigger ; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases. (Big Book. Acceptance Was The Answer)

We do not blindly accept any and all situations and say – oh well.
Acceptance is the first step in recognizing, an awareness of knowing a situation for what it honestly is. Not just our personal twist, denial or manipulation of what we want it to be. A very straightforward, simple and real knowing of what it is. No story lines, no blame or guilt.
We then accept it for what it is, not good or bad, but it IS.
We can then decide what course of action, if any, would be best to take. A course of action informed by our values, our hearts and a spiritual sense of reality. Even if it’s difficult or uncomfortable.

The first step that is accepting the fact that you are personally responsible for whatever your state of mind is..

My addiction kept me from even being able to see, or have any chance of accepting any sense of reality. I kept needing to distort my feelings, my perceived world, by indulging in a temporary solution that only distorted my reality, resisted seeing the truth, and increased my problems.

“You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole–like the world, or the person you loved.” ? Stewart O’Nan

“When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did.”
John Green, Looking for Alaska

“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.” ? C. JoyBell C.

Acceptance means opening up and making room for painful feelings and sensations. You learn how to drop the struggle with them, give them some breathing space, and let them be there without getting all caught up in them, or overwhelmed by them; the more you can open up, and give them room to move, the easier it is for your feelings to come and go without draining you or holding you back.

Values are what you want your life to be about, deep in your heart. Committed action means taking action guided by your values – doing what matters-

Find solutions instead of complaining:
It is completely meaningless to complain about things. Negative people drain everyone around them. Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do to solve the problem?” And if you can’t solve it, where can you focus your energy more productively? What things can you control?

Practice letting go:
How can you accept a devastating loss or change, for example, that you won’t ever be able to run again? You have two choices. One is to hold on to the way things were. If you can’t accept life the way it is, you have a big problem, because you cannot change what already has happened. But you will live in a fantasy world regretting what was, or being afraid of what will be.

The other choice is to accept life the way it is. That takes courage but the process will empower you enormously. The ability to let go of things in everyday life makes for happiness and ease. You can even laugh when you miss a bus that’s departed five minutes early.
Start out by accepting small things, such as stepping on a chewing gum or losing some change. You’ll be surprised; bit by bit, you’ll be able to let go of most mishaps that come your way.
Let beauty in:

Learn to see and appreciate what you have, as opposed to giving too much attention to what you’ve lost or what you are hoping for. Open up to what is truly beautiful and important in life. The truth is, every  experience is new, and it’s up to you how complete or lacking it seems.
Take on the curiosity of a child. Open up and explore life as if it were your first day here.

For transformation to take place, we have to actually make friends with our mind. We have to learn to like ourselves. This is the opposite of a “get rich quick” scheme. It only comes from the willingness to be with yourself, nakedly, openly, and lovingly, again and again over a long period of time. Which means we have to spend time with ourselves. It’s often tough, it’s usually intense, and it leads to a hard-fought, slow-won, and revolutionary victory over self-hatred. We can actually come to like ourselves. Liking yourself is the result of acceptance. This is a radical way of thinking. Come on – you have always wanted to be a radical, haven’t you?

No time is better spent than knowing yourself, and fully accepting and LOVING yourself. Your choices will then seem to flow from a river of bounty.

How do you fill your bucket? One acceptance at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.
Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com