9-24-17 Self-Compassion


Meditation: Mindfulness-Awareness. A sense of existence that includes your thoughts but is not conditioned by or limited to your thinking process.

Big Book: Love and tolerance of others (and ourselves) is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone.

One important aspect of not fighting anymore, is to have a gentle but strong sense of kindness and honesty in our hearts. We do not fight when we are confident and content with ourselves, and will not let others demean or disrespect that. That does not mean we need to fight when we are disrespected. We can be wise enough to let go of what we should, and address with kindness what we should.

We know this is a healthy attitude to have, but in reality how do we bring it into our lives, how do we truly begin to feel and maintain a positive sense of engagement in a reality so much bigger than our own little world?

Compassion is speaking up for yourself when you feel it to be right. Not trying to get YOUR way, but being brave enough to stand up for yourself and what you know to be right. Not being afraid it may upset others or cause some temporary discord, but knowing in your heart it is right. Compassion is bravery, feeling some fear and stepping into and through it. Not enabeling bad behavior from others or yourself.

In my addiction I was ignorant, not stupid. I did not know what to do or how to begin healing. Today, as I learn ways to work with my difficulties, I am no longer in ignorance, not knowing, but may occasionally to do the wrong thing out of fear. That is a wrong choice, not who I am, but I do that less often and for a shorter time. I am learning to choose the braver way of compassion and dignity, not fear.

Self-compassion is seeing your most tender wounds without judgment. Showing compassion to yourself is being willing to see / feel the reality of your pain without covering it up or trying to “fix” it. Once this level of self-love occurs, a door opens to the understanding of why the pain is there. As we lovingly befriend ourselves, awareness reveals the cause / effect dynamic that created the wound in the first place – a set of circumstances we experienced from which we formulated a negative belief about ourselves.

What I know now is that we don’t create or change our circumstances with just our words. We create our lives with our feelings. If your feelings and beliefs are vibrating an energy of lack, that is what you draw to yourself. If your energies are vibrating a positive acceptance and engagement, even with your difficulties, that is what you will be offering others and attracting to your self.

When you find you have been indulging in or overcome by an emotion, or mentally running on and on with some story line, you can choose to continue being controlled by your emotion, or Accept what is occurring. Basically saying, OK, what is going on here? And looking at it from a slight distance that takes you out of the storm center, and saying “This is my life, it is very important to me, and I do LOVE myself very much, I do care for myself very much. And going forward with the absolute confirmation, that you are worth every bit of your LOVE.

This involves an awareness of what is going on, as opposed to mindlessly be engrossed in and ill affected by it. Once you know what is happening, you can bring to bear the discipline, the courage, to Mindfully use the tools you have, to bring your
If you need to think about a circumstance or person, you can do it in a mindful, aware manner. Not to deny your feelings, but to not be overwhelmed by them. To include them in your thought process, but to be sufficiently distanced from any turmoil to be able to know that first, your peace of mind, Your SELF LOVE, is so necessary to being able to work with any situation and have a healthy growth process take place, instead of continuing to go around and around in a confusing and painful manner.

Only when you LOVE yourself, unconditionally, believe in yourself and your worthiness and the inclusion of others as spiritual beings, can you realize the connection and compassion you also have for others, which will come very naturally.

Meditation places us naturally in a more open, stable, aware state. The more we practice meditation, the better we are able to work with others and ourselves. Meditation on and off the cushion. To use our awareness and courage, to think and act differently than a mindless engagement in our emotions. A courage to know who we are, and choose a better way, for ourselves and others.

Be brave, make mistakes, and be compassionate and forgiving about that. Then keep moving forward, by being forgiving and compassionate towards all.

When we begin engaging in the world with a sense of richness, compassion, honesty and humor, new worlds open up for us, and we help others to grow.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.

” Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com