7-9-17 Don’t Make Assumptions

Don’t Make Assumptions

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. They are NOT.

It is very interesting how the human mind works. We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why we make assumptions.
We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works.

We have to be what we are, so we don’t have to present a false image. If you love me the way I am, “Okay, take me.” If you don’t love me the way I am, “Okay, bye-bye. Find someone else.” It may sound harsh, but this kind of communication means the personal agreements we make with others are clear and impeccable.

If you don’t understand something, it is better for you to ask and be clear, instead of making an assumption. The day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly, free of emotional poison. Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.
?don Miguel Ruiz,

Being clever doesn’t make you right, as a glance at academia demonstrates. Intellect alone produces a wide range of answers, which is why economists and philosophers disagree with one another. In fact, being clever can simply reinforce the delusion that you know the answers when really you don’t.

“Spirituality is not adopting more beliefs and assumptions but uncovering the best in you.”
? Amit Ray,

“To assume that I can even begin to chart a ‘straight’ path is probably the best way I can take myself ‘straight’ to the very place I don’t want to go.” ? Craig D. Lounsbrough

Do you judge an entire persons life, personality and worthiness on one action? We tend to do this because we still feel guilty about some of the things we have done. Let’s rid ourselves of judgement and guilt. Mostly guilt about ourselves. What is left? A spacious reality where the truth can arise.

“A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.” Shakespeare

As we begin to arise out of our addictive mentality of fear and small mind that judges and assumes the worst, mostly about ourselves, we begin to believe in ourselves. We want to be able to experience the world, others, and mostly ourselves, in a real and truthful way. The first step is to be as truthful and kind as we can. Then to not take things personally, so we are not constantly on the offensive or hiding. And to make the effort to know as clearly as possible, what is real without feeding our egos self serving, demeaning negativity.
To connect honestly, is a huge part of any spiritual growth. With ourselves and others. We can only do this when we know what is real and quit creating our own BS versions of reality.

Fear regarding our appearance is very common. We obsess about the size and shape of our noses, our chins, our ears, about the texture of our skin, our weight, and so on. Most of the assumptions we make are negative: we assume that others are judging us. This causes us to suffer. When we rise above the mundane of what I or anyone looks like, we do not judge or permit judgements to affect us. We see how amazingly stupid and a waste of time it all is. We then have the capacity to more deeply know ourselves and others.

In “don’t-know mind.” Seung Sahn encouraged us to drop opinions and assumptions, and to accept not-knowing. This is a very deep practice that can take us all the way to spiritual awakening, but one very basic application of this principle is simply to recognize when we’re jumping to conclusions.
So keep watching your thoughts. Notice when you’re attributing thoughts and judgements to others. Realize that this is not knowledge, but simply your own fear that you’re projecting onto others. Now you’re in “don’t-know mind.”

It is only when you begin being spiritual, instead of learning about spirituality, that your life will change – and that change will be surprising.
Meditation isn’t just about sitting in the lotus position going “Om”. It’s about being still within yourself, at all times. Being still is to – not constantly tell yourselves stories, judge others, dislike yourself for doing so, project the future and take things personally. We begin to bring stillness into the everyday noisy, busy world, and are not affected by the falseness of any of it.
When we are not afraid of what others will think of us, because we come from a place of confidence, kindness and truth, we become authentic. We can breathe deeply, appreciate all our shortcomings and virtues and those of others, and know life is good.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.
Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com