4-30-17 Being OK With Being Uncomfortable

Being OK With Being Uncomfortable

To be OK with being uncomfortable does not mean we are trying to dismiss our uncomfortableness, we are aspiring to become aware of it, accept that we are uncomfortable, and to hold it dearly, in a greater awareness that includes compassion.

Whenever there is a sense of threat we harden. And so, if we don’t harden, what happens? We’re left with that uneasiness, that feeling of threat. That is when the real journey of courage begins. — To find the soft spot and the tenderness in that very uneasy place and stay with it.
But if you touch fear, behind fear is a soft spot. And if you touch that soft spot you find the vast blue sky. You find that which is ineffable, ungraspable, and unbiased, that which can support and awaken us at any time. Pema Chodron

(Our attitude towards our addiction) – We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation… the problem has been removed. What we have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. BB
“Fear is a natural reaction of moving closer to the truth.”

“This earnestness, this seriousness about everything in our lives — including practice — this goal-oriented, we’re going-to-do-it-or-else attitude, is the world’s greatest killjoy. There’s no sense of appreciation because we’re so solemn about everything. In contrast, a joyful mind is very ordinary and relaxed. So lighten up. Don’t make such a big deal.
I used to try and find a comfortable place in my head by denying what was truly happening and trying to replace, fighting with and denying my discomfort, with a drug or a behavior. SO – How did that work? Not too well. I only deepened my pain, and took myself further away from the richness and the amazing embrace of life. I can still use old denying behaviors today.

If I quit fighting myself, what would happen? Might make room for Peace. Then I would be happier, —- Not sure I can deal with that, I find I actually do fear, resist, being happy. Is it fear of missing my familiar discomfort, or fear of never truly believing it’s OK for me to be happy? What would it be like if I made an effort to relax, and know, without thinking about it, that I am a wonderful, flawed human that can CHOOSE to be happier?
“When your aspiration is to lighten up, you begin to have a sense of humor. Your serious state of mind keeps getting popped. In addition to a sense of humor, a basic support for a joyful mind is curiosity, paying attention, taking an interest in the world around you, instead of being so wrapped up in that little world in your head. Happiness is not required, but being curious without a heavy judgmental attitude helps. If you are judgmental, you can even be curious about that. The more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back.” Tiny Buddha

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot. Eleanor Roosevelt You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. Marcus Aurelius
Some have the misconception that if you are happy with yourself you won’t change things about yourself. This isn’t true; you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you don’t like. When you stop fighting you suffer less and accomplish more.
Acceptance does not mean you are agreeing to a situation or action. It means you are acknowledging that the event happened and is real. Acceptance means not fighting reality.
Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being “without anxiety about imperfection.”

“As a friend of mine put it, “Feeling that something is wrong with me is the invisible and toxic gas I am always breathing.” When we experience our lives through this lens of personal insufficiency, we are imprisoned in what I call the trance of unworthiness. Trapped in this trance, we are unable to perceive the truth of who we really are.” Tara Brach,

Be absolutely OK, quit fighting with who you are now, as you are right now, all perceived faults, failings, needs, fears, pride and pain, all are included and OK.
If you feel you need to wait until this or that is fixed, or worked little more on something that your judgmental mind sees as wrong, realize you must take a step into trust. A spiritual opening that is beyond your cognitive judgmental processes. How has your judgmental mind worked for you so far? That will keep you from ever being OK with yourself. A seemingly good rational to not feeling OK, or not feeling at all, which is what I pretty much achieved with my addiction.

Yes, OK with imperfection, just like everyone else, imperfect and wonderfully human. When you are able to breathe into your complete self, (complete means all that is there, not only your perceived good parts), you may find you are able to accept and connect better with all the other imperfect people in your life. THAT is where the spiritual journey truly begins. Accepting yourself and the wonder of accepting others.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.
Heart Of Recovery web site – fcheartofrecovery.com

Accept – Open – Soften. Breathe 3 times into each aspiration.
Have an awareness of being tight, judgmental or fearful. Breathe
Breathe into the feeling. Accept it fully, acknowledge it, know it is NOT you, it’s just a feeling.
Breathe and create an openness. To Open is to not obstruct, be free of prejudice, to reveal. Open the tight, narrow sense of difficulty, into a broader, compassionate awareness. Breathe into the softness surrounding the tension.To Soften is to become tender, able to absorb. Softness permits the spiritual to permeate, to penetrate our concepts beyond our small harsh egos. Let the light in, even if you are afraid to.