11-30-14 -Ambushed or Awareness

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Ambushed or Awareness

Ambushed – To attack from a conceailed or hidden position.
Awareness – To recognize and know, plainly and clearly. To have knowledge of.

12 and12 – …we have buried these … defects deep down in us under thick layers of self-justification. Whatever the defects, they have finally ambushed us into (addiction) and misery.
Essential is an awareness of what is causing our difficulties, to come to an understanding of what is causing our dis-ease. Only then can we begin to work with our difficulties, instead of being ambushed and bulldozed by them.
In my addiction I was aware that I was going downhill pretty fast, I did not really have a good idea what the deeper cause was, because as I over and over again tried using my addiction to make me happy, I only became more miserable. A part of the problem was needing to be happy or entertained all the time.
As I was able to address my addiction and get it under some control I realized that the cause of my needing to either escape or to get something beyond my addiction, was the cause of my unhappiness. I needed to calm myself and look at what was running me, what was – is, causing me unhappiness.
If we cling to (try to control) the flow of life, we can’t go with the flow; we can’t be aware. Then our awareness will disappear and we will get swallowed up once more in wishing and wanting, going and getting, joy and sorrow. Awareness, then, is about knowing what we know now for ourselves. It isn’t that difficult to become aware of what’s happening in our experience in the moment. We don’t have to be clever. But perhaps we feel it can’t be simple either because only great people can do that, not us, and we look for something more complicated to tackle.
The difficulty lies in the simplicity of what is necessary.
When we wish to work on a difficulty we experience, through our awareness we acknowledge what is causing tension, then we can bring that emotion to mind and, here is the hard part, just accept that that is what we are experiencing, a total acceptance without wishing to change it.
That may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but essentially, if you are fighting with something, quit fighting, and the war will be over. This involves a trust in our higher power, our basic goodness. A trust that the Sunlight of the Spirit will illuminate our way if we can get out of our own shadow, and rest in love and trust.
Learn to STOP and BREATH, when you are having a craving, including a THINKING craving or indulgence, or anytime you feel the need to calm yourself.
Energy itself is neutral; it is our attitude towards it that determines whether we are open (sane) or closed (confused). When we are simply and honestly open to our own energy, we experience ourselves as warm and clear. When we misuse our energy, grasping or avoiding, we feel confused and stuck. Being open or closed determines how we view ourselves and consequently the world.
Whatever you accept completely will take you to peace, including the acceptance that you cannot accept, that you are in resistance.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell

I also need to be aware that there are other people in the world that are as confused as I am, and trying to be happy, often in muddling ways, even as I do. I need to realize I am completely connected to all these other people. The way that I see and act on that unconditional connection starts from how I view myself.

I know now that I do not have to be happy or entertained all the time. Life is an amazing mixture of so many things, some wonderful, some difficult. I can be present for all that life contains if I can keep it simple, be patient, have love and compassion for myself and others, not in a distant or abstract manner, but in my everyday actions and thoughts.
I will no longer be ambushed by parts of life I don’t know how to handle, and just try to cover the confusion up with superficial and harmful distractions. An unshakable foundation that will guide me well through all of life will occur when I have learned to exert my patience and persistance in being willing to truly know, feel and accept what is happening, and take responsibility.

How do you fill your bucket? One drop at a time.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
“The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.”
Heart Of Recovery web site –

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